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New Cart Design Really Makes Me Want to Take Up Golf

Despite the better efforts of one Happy Gilmore, and the ambitious sex life of Tiger Woods, golf remains in the eyes of many a proper sport, where tradition and pomp rule the day. Much like the Shire, change comes slow to golf, if it comes at all, and for the most part, the faithful of the sport prefer it that way.

In other words, it isn’t the type of place you would necessarily expect to see a hovercraft.

But if PGA golfer Bubba Watson has a say in it, that may become a reality in country clubs across the country. He is lending his name to a new golf cart prototype from Oakley called  Bubba’s Hover that functions just like a traditional hovercraft (if there is such a thing), meaning it can easily traverse over grass, through wooded areas, and, of course, over water.

While the golf cart that works on water aspect is the money shot of this vehicle, and could open up entirely new ways to navigate a course, you may be shocked to learn that this idea is actually somewhat practical. This is due in large part to it’s lesser impact on the condition of a course, thereby ensuring the integrity of the playing surface without being limited to the cart path to do so.

Of course at the end of the day practicality and function come in second to the sheer amount of fun this thing could be.. Faster, more mobile, and infinitely cooler than the regular golf cart, Bubba’s Hover has the potential to cause overwhelming joy to everyone who uses it, or views it in action.

Which is why we’ll probably never see these go into production on a larger scale. Besides probably being more expensive to make, and slightly more dangerous to use, it’s just hard to picture the average country club swarming with these. Plus this was mostly intended as a marketing ploy.

That’s a damn shame too as it deprives people yet another chance to whistle the James Bond theme in real world context.

If the Word Useless Were a Concept Vehicle…

Photo From Hyundai

It’s a known fact that the more rich you are, the more eccentric you are allowed to be in the eyes of society. As such, if you are a multi-billion dollar corporation, as a collective entity you’re allowed to be pretty damn unconventional from time to time, so long as that bottom line is in the black.

I mention this since the rationale “because we can” seems to be the only reason behind Hyundai’s recent one person transportation vehicle prototype.

They call it the E4U, and it’s designed for…you know I’m really not sure. I can tell you it can move in any direction, but only in an omni-directional manner, thanks to its kickstand style wheel substitutes. Also it’s apparently not much faster than the average pedestrian, which is really for the best considering the view of one of these rocketing towards you is probably a declaration of war somehow.

Unveiled at the Seoul  motorshow, details about this transport device are few, including if it will ever see release and what combination of hallucinogens and uppers were taken that allowed the E4U to be conceptualized and produced, without killing everyone involved.

Since we know so little about it, I have a few personal questions that need answering:

  • Why is its brow furrowed? Has it anticipated our mockery and is displeased?
  • Are there any features that prevent neighborhood kids from pushing it over, or turning it in the opposite direction, besides their inability to stop laughing?
  • Can Hyundai build the Death Star they got the rider’s helmets from instead?
  • Is its inability to be operated by the obese intentional, or just a gross marketing oversight?
  • Finally, in a pinch, can I duck into this thing to shield myself from Mega Man’s blasts?

Building the Ultimate Man’s Kitchen

One of my favorite of the ’90s prime time sitcoms will always be “Home Improvement.”

In retrospect, this is most likely because it introduced most of the world to Pamela Anderson and Debbie Dunning (more than you can say for even “The Wire”), but it also had some memorable gags, a host of hilarious characters, and some truly standout episodes, including the infamous introduction of the man’s kitchen.

The first in a string of episodes where a common room is redesigned and “man-ified,” the man’s kitchen took the misogynist idea that the kitchen is only for women and presented one that was instead an almost cartoonish playground for the average man.

While absurd, with the gadget explosion that has occurred since, there are now enough devices available to truly craft a man’s kitchen. Some of these accessories are absurd and lavish, while others are common and accessible. But when combined, they create the ultimate real life man’s kitchen.

Grand Palais 180 Stove

Let’s start with the impossible shall we?

Your oven/stovetop is going to be the most important part of any kitchen, and if you really want something that will show off that idea, you need the king of all home ovens. Resembling a train car more than a stove, the Grand Palais wouldn’t be out of place in the home of an old world ruler or even steampunk baron. With its built in gas and electric ovens, as well as a variety of different stovetop grill and burner options, it also happens to work perfectly as the centerpiece of the man’s kitchen.

Sure they run around the $46,000 range depending on enhancements , but dammit we can do this thing cheap, or we can do it right.

Hot Dog Toaster

Of course it’s not all ovens worthy of the 1%, as some parts of the man’s kitchen are just down to earth essentials.

Since nothing is more essential than the need for a hotdog, instead of wasting your time with the stovetop or microwave methods, why not make the perfectly cooked hot dog and bun, as easy as you make a piece of toast? It’s possible with the pop-up hot dog toaster, which cooks hot dogs of your chosen consistency in mere minutes with the ease of the average toaster. It’s even got compartments enough for two hot dogs and buns and the design goes well with that $46,000 oven.

A steal at $19.99, this one even got the Barney Stinson seal of approval.

Crème Brule Torch

It’s the eternal question man has asked since the dawn of the caveman.

How can I use more fire doing this?

In the kitchen, the answer is simple thanks to the standard crème brule torch. Ideally used to brown that famous tricky desert, considering it’s nothing more than a small scale blow torch, feel free to use it to make anything where direct heat is required (like melting cheese over nachos) twice as bad ass, and ten times as manly.

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March Madness drives app innovation

Most of us love tournament madness. I remember being in Las Vegas for the NCAA tournament, and I had Kentucky +8 against Duke, even though I was rooting for the Blue Devils. I was in the Caesars Palace sports book, which at the time was basically a mecca for sports and betting fans. I couldn’t lose my bet as the game was so close, and then I was able to witness Christian Leattner’s epic game-winning shot that will be remembered for as long as kids play basketball.

That’s why we love March Madness. Last night gave us another glimpse, particularly for us Ohio State fans, as LaQuinton Ross hit a three at the end of regulation to give the Buckeyes the win over Arizona. The Buckeyes have now done this two games in a row, so I suspect that more and more fans will be tuning in to their games.

Events like this can now be experienced in so many new ways with apps and devices. You can’t replicate what I experienced in Las Vegas, but you can create incredible experiences as these games play out. That’s why we have an explosion of apps built around the NCAA tournament which drives incredible innovation that can spill over to other areas. If you want to enter a pool, like to bet on March Madness, challenge your friends or just see the drama in real time, there are tons of apps out there that will let you do so.

The key is that in today’s world, content drives more content. Derivative activities like pools and betting can thrive around sporting events, but also television like contest shows. That’s why we’re also seeing an explosion of interactive TV around apps as well.

Get ready for more and more ways to enjoy this stuff, though the drama of seeing games unfold in real time still has to be the best way to enjoy these events.

A Device that Helps you Tackle Number Two, Like Number One

Brilliance comes in the oddest forms sometimes. While it’s immediately recognizable through acts like splitting the atom, inventions like the telephone, or literary works like “Infinite Jest,” it can also come in smaller, more practical, more modest forms.

By that rationale, the pedestal stand by CTA Digital is brilliant in an as seen on TV way. It’s a modern day take on the toilet paper holder, as it holds not just a roll of toilet paper, but your iPad 2,3, or 4 as well through an adjustable neck. Not only does it offer a space saving alternative to your magazine rack and other bathroom installments (I’ve heard an idea of downloading a mirror app, for double duty touch-ups), but it allows you the freedom to use your favorite tech device while…on the job without any of that unfortunate hand fumbling, or cumbersome need to set it down.

The asking price of $42.50 may be kind of steep for a device that probably has a number of homemade alternatives available, but if you’ve ever experienced the burden, and occasional horror, of trying to use your iPad on the toilet in a manner befitting a supposedly intelligent human being, you’ll immediately recognize the value of a professionally crafted aide.

Just be warned that this will make you appear to be a pretty serious pooper to visitors.

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