I like to think of myself as a practical man who at least recognizes the rules of the world, even if I don’t always understand them, and doesn’t live to long with his head in the clouds pondering on impractical notions.

But for the life of me, I just don’t understand why dieting means I can’t eat fried foods.

Sure they’re just about the worst thing in the world for you, but they’re also really, really good. No that doesn’t justify them as a health food, but it’s not fair that we can’t eat the most delicious achievement in culinary evolution just because you can feel it chipping away at your life as it goes down.

Recognizing the problem lies in that delicious oil that frying takes, Hammacher Schlemmer have crafted a viable deep frying alternative that instead uses infared heaters to reach temperatures of up to 400 degrees and produce perfectly fried foods that are actually, if only slightly, healthier for you. You even get separate compartments so you can have even more slightly healthier for you deep fried foods.

Minor health element aside, the real appeal of the lack of oil to use this device is the fact that cooking oil for deep frying is actually incredibly expensive and, as news stories every Thanksgiving remind us, very dangerous if not handled properly. For $250 then, this is actually not an entirely impractical kitchen gadget, for those who want the ability to take a perfectly reasonable food, and deep fry the hell out of it at their leisure.

While branding a cow certainly makes sense for the rancher, when you think about it, should his mark be the final word on your steak? After all, it was you who selected the perfect cut from the butcher, it was you who seasoned and marinated it to perfection, and it was you who wisely didn’t invite that one guy to your BBQ who asks for his steaks “burnt to a crisp” as to maintain the integrity of your work.

After all that effort, don’t you feel you should be able to leave a clear mark on your steak that leaves no doubt as to its creator?

If so then consider the Norpo BBQ Branding Iron. With it, you have the grammatical power of 55 included letters to brand your steak with the message of your choice right before it comes off of the grill. Whether it be something simple like putting the name of the respective recipient on each cut, or creating your own unique identifying statement, you can now finally put a signature on the artform that is that perfect cut of grilled beef.

Sure there are reports of the branding iron not being the most sturdy of utensils, and there is the nasty potential for looking kind of pretentious while using it, but sometimes the quality of a steak doesn’t speak for itself soon enough, and you need it to leave a quicker impression. For those times, you need this iron.

Bartender is a job that still carries some mystique to the common drinker, as the person behind the bar still exists as a figurehead to many patrons. There’s something striking about even a standard server of spirits, and something downright mythical about the one who can create that perfect drink, or control a crowded room like they’re dangling strings over the masses.

It’s not an easy life though, as a truly great bartender must have an eye on every little aspect of the bar, a head full of drink recipes and orders, and the quick hands that put it all together. So while everyone may not be cut out to be a bartender, thanks to a tool called the bar10der, everyone can make mixing drinks a little easier. It’s basically the drinker’s Swiss army knife (the Irish army knife perhaps?), and features 10 tools essential for any good bartender:

–          A jigger to measure ½ ounce and ounce pours

–          Stirrer

–          Corkscrew

–          Muddler for crushing

–          Reamer for squeezed juice mixtures

–          A bottle opener

–          Strainer

–          A zester for citrus

–          A channel knife for fruit twists

–          And of course a basic 4” blade

All of the tools are neatly packaged into a less than 9 inch long rubber handle, that comes in multiple colors, and though it is a bit pricey at $49.99, it is really just a fantastic all around device, especially if you’ll soon be hosting a new years eve party.