I thought, perhaps, about putting some horror movie survival gear on here to help all those who find themselves in supernatural situations this Halloween, or in the rarely known fallout period after Halloween when the real monsters come out because they know everyone’s got their guard down. However, when you break down the sheer numbers of horror movie films, you’ll find that we humans have actually come out ahead fairly often. That being the case, I think it’s time the bad guys got a little help.

Particularly, I’d like to assist one of the original, and still best, horror film icons by suggesting a tool to “Halloween” star Michael Myers. Fitting his low-tech, yet still timeless, choice of weapons, the Kyocera knive is quite possible Japan’s finest attempt yet at perfecting the ceramic knife. Expanding upon the inherit advantages of the typical ceramic knife, the Kyocera not only holds its edge 10x longer than a steel blade and is more lightweight, but is just as powerful when cutting all possible manners of items, all while it’s rivet handle and sleek design make it more versatile and easier to handle. It doesn’t easily corrode, requires little upkeep, and even comes in black.

An elegant weapon for a more civilized horror slasher age, this is a certain horror icon’s dream, and quite possibly the perfect kitchen knife for the home. Should you want it in yours, they go for $119 on Amazon, but you must of course first ask yourself if you’d like to have it laying around, should a certain Shatner masked horror legend come pay a visit just because you didn’t make sure the house wasn’t owned by anyone named Myers previously.

Oh, and Happy Halloween everybody.

With the possible exceptions of the laser gun and the flying car, I feel the longest running sci-fi tech desire is the jetpack. Though we may have advanced in unthinkable technological ways since the first time someone came up with the idea of strapping rockets to your back and soaring through the world with absolute, and badass, freedom, there still remains a great interest in popular culture concerning the classic idea of the jetpack, despite the number of practical barriers impairing it from existence.

The always entertaining folks at Hammacher and Schlemmer offer up the newest interpretation of the jet pack design, by taking the concept out for a swim with the Hyrdo Powered Jetovator.

This seat with dual throttle controls is powered by a 40 foot hose which supplies the main component the user rides on with enough water to support its three jet propulsion system, which both gets it airborne and keep it afloat. Capable of speeds up to 25 MPH (upwards?), the ferocity of the Jetovator is not in question, nor is its maneuverability, as through the throttles the user can allegedly perform a variety of aerial stunts which include barrel rolls, flips, and even underwater dives.

Though conversations of safety and practicality can often hamper any gadget discussion, here the questions are impossible to ignore as every capture of the Jetovator in action instantly conjures the image of something going terribly, terribly wrong. However, part of the appeal of the jetpack design has always been its carefree disregard of practicality, which is one aspect of the traditional model the Jetovator nails on the head. You can only imagine the sheer joy that comes from using this thing successfully before those brief moments where everything goes terribly, terribly wrong.

I say “only imagine” because with a $7,000 price tag, this isn’t likely to become a household item any time soon. It is a reasonable facsimile of a water fueled jet pack though, and is well worth cozying up to as many rich folk as possible just on the off chance they’ll purchase one for the summer and let you have a go on what just may be the most dangerously exciting aquatic gadget produced yet.

While you’ve probably thought before that it’s a tremendous annoyance when you get stuck behind a slow, large vehicle unable to pass because you can see anything around it, it’s likely you’ve never really thought there would be a technical solution to this common problem outside of the “Smokey and the Bandit” technique of ducking in and out of the opposing lane to see if it’s clear.

Now that I’ve successfully fulfilled my personal “Smokey and the Bandit” reference quota for the day (*fist pump*) let me introduce you to a device from our friends in Portugal that offers perhaps the most exciting solution to this problem ever presented.

Basically its a two part camera system that sees the actual camera attached to the front of large vehicles such as buses and trucks, while a small LCD screen on the drivers’ inner windshield shows a feed of the camera. When combined, and in the proper position, this produces an effect that allows you to essentially look through the vehicle in front of you, taking all of the guess work (and extreme risk) out of passing a larger vehicle.

Obviously considering the cooperation required from both large vehicles (especially in the private sector) and the cooperation of car manufacturer’s in terms of allowing for the LCD tech when designing new models, a system like this may not be the most practical of solutions to the issue, and if it ever does see the light of day, will likely be implemented in very select doses.

Much like Kate Upton though, the fact you’ll likely never actually interact with something so beautiful, should in no way discourage you from getting excited about the remote possibility, or just appreciating how amazing it is that something so incredible exists in the world.

Gentlemen, meet The Rescue from Ghe-O.

The Rescue is basically the honey badger of vehicles, as it does not give a ****. Combining the design innovations of every offroad emergency vehicle that came before it, The Rescue (yes the The is part of its name), is 3.2 tons of offroad fury that has been tested and proven to be capable of traversing just about any known terrain that the Earth can throw at it.

Even though its “out of the box” model is plenty capable of overcoming a variety of environmental hazards (and seat 11 people while doing it), like any good gadget, the true capabilities of The Rescue are revealed when you start using the available accessories for it. Everything from firefighting water tanks, to a snowplow, to back wheel snow treads, and even flotation devices for large water bodies are available to add on to The Rescue, meaning with the right combination of add-ons, it essentially becomes a feasible real life version of the Batmobile.

Much like the Batmobile though, The Rescue is largely intended for professionals as its main markets are in the military and emergency rescue fields. However, the manufacturer is offering the wallet dreading “price available upon request” message on their website, suggesting that there is a Lloyd Christmas statistical chance of actually driving one yourself. Should that day never come though, feel free to gorge on the vehicle’s YouTube videos for all your outdoor car porn needs.

How old are you really?

No, don’t worry I didn’t find your secret stash of headshots and have questions regarding your listed birthday, I’m just wondering how old you are in your heart, where age really matters. If the answer is somewhere between the ages of 8-10, then I’ve got just the gadget for you.

It’s a Hot Wheels car maker that not only lets you relive the glory days of owning several garages worth of the sweetest micro machines known to man, but allows you to craft unique models as well. All you have to do is create a mold for the car (there are several different mold types available sold seperately through kits) and use the press to form it into an actual Hot Wheel. Add some decals to it, and you’ve got a bad-ass toy car nearly all your own.

Sure its limited and incredibly childish, but sometimes you’ve got to screw it and treat yourself to the toy you’ve always wanted as a child. So whether you’re buying this for your kid, buying this for yourself, or buying it for your kid in the hopes they eventually get tired of it and you have it all to yourself, for $40 it’s a pretty great way to act your inner child age for a while.

Plus it guarantees fun on the Amazon listing, which I’m pretty sure counts as a binding contract.