If the Word Useless Were a Concept Vehicle…

Photo From Hyundai

It’s a known fact that the more rich you are, the more eccentric you are allowed to be in the eyes of society. As such, if you are a multi-billion dollar corporation, as a collective entity you’re allowed to be pretty damn unconventional from time to time, so long as that bottom line is in the black.

I mention this since the rationale “because we can” seems to be the only reason behind Hyundai’s recent one person transportation vehicle prototype.

They call it the E4U, and it’s designed for…you know I’m really not sure. I can tell you it can move in any direction, but only in an omni-directional manner, thanks to its kickstand style wheel substitutes. Also it’s apparently not much faster than the average pedestrian, which is really for the best considering the view of one of these rocketing towards you is probably a declaration of war somehow.

Unveiled at the Seoul  motorshow, details about this transport device are few, including if it will ever see release and what combination of hallucinogens and uppers were taken that allowed the E4U to be conceptualized and produced, without killing everyone involved.

Since we know so little about it, I have a few personal questions that need answering:

  • Why is its brow furrowed? Has it anticipated our mockery and is displeased?
  • Are there any features that prevent neighborhood kids from pushing it over, or turning it in the opposite direction, besides their inability to stop laughing?
  • Can Hyundai build the Death Star they got the rider’s helmets from instead?
  • Is its inability to be operated by the obese intentional, or just a gross marketing oversight?
  • Finally, in a pinch, can I duck into this thing to shield myself from Mega Man’s blasts?

A Soap That, as Rocky Balboa Promised, Will Make You “Smeel Mainly”

If you’re like me, the rare occasion you have to buy bar soap is met without much enthusiasm or an extended thought process. Usually it’s the first one you see that says soap or, in a moment of misunderstood hesitation, the one I relate with the most recent/most humorous commercial I saw.

There’s at least one soap out there though that wants to remove the image of femininity from hand soap and make it a more exciting buying process for the average man.

That soap is called Man Hands, and they have a variety of uniquely scented soap bars available aimed at the average red-blooded male, offering a testosterone influenced alternative from the coconut and ocean breeze flooded market. While some scents are just bewildering (Republican and Democrat? Cash? Urinal Mint?), some are potentially appealing to more markets (Cannabis, Buttered Popcorn, and Incense), some are indeed right on target (Muscle Rub, Cedar Log Cabin, Topsoil, Baseball Glove, and of course Bacon). Each bar retails for $6.95 and can be found here.

Is this just a really stupid idea? Probably, yeah. But it’s pretty obvious by the product, and their descriptions, that this is an idea having a lot of fun with itself and asking the same of its consumers. Plus, who knows? In the mix might just be one or two winning scents that beat the hell out of Lavender,and you can never be in short supply of novelty gift ideas, which might just be the best use of this product.

In the Game of Phones, You Dock, or You Die

There can never be enough “Game of Thrones” in the world (or “Song of Ice and Fire” if you’re a purist), but with the HBO show on hiatus until its third season debut, and author George RR Martin taking his usual sweet time in finishing the 6th novel in the series, fans have had to look from the top of The Wall to the bottom of the Sea of Dorne (that’s high and low for you normal folk) to find ways to fill the widening void in their hearts for more of that wonderful world.

But even outside of that spirit of desperation, this “Game of Thrones” inspired phone dock would still be pretty cool.

It was created with a 3D printer by Instructables user mstyle183, who modeled it after the much sought after Iron Throne of Westeros that half the characters in the source material kill each other for the chance to sit on (as if you didn’t already know). The dock itself is sure to be equally sought after by iPhone 5 users, who rely on a third party docks since Apple doesn’t have an official one for the iPhone 5 available yet, and this one is slightly more bad ass than the rest. The dock also works for android phones, and the instructions for its creation can be found via the inventor’s Instructables page, or it can be pre-ordered commercially here for $69.99. It is compatible with most charging connections.

The world of geek inspired tech is a tricky one as something that looks cool at first can lose its novelty, and value, later on. Have no such fear with this dock though, as it is a genuine piece of inspired nerdery that given both the continuing excellence of the source material, and basic cool design of a throne shaped dock, isn’t likely to wear out its welcome anytime soon.

Unlike the Throne’s Current Occupant Of Course…