World Class Speakers + Maserati =

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There are two things I can’t stand (well, three if you count famine), and they are the overuse of the word “swag,” and products made by car companies that aren’t cars (cologne by Ferrari, for instance).

However, even though these two things are at the top of the old hate list, there are still exceptions. Particularly when the people over at Maserati take their skills at designing some of the best looking cars in the world, and apply it to crafting a pair of speakers that can only be described as swag.

Ok, so technically these speakers are manufactured by the fine folks at Bowers and Wilkins but, even though they are known for some impressive designs themselves, there is no mistaking those beautiful curves, that wood grain finish, or that general feeling that you can never, ever afford this as being the product of anyone else but Maserati.

True to the ideas of both companies though, these speakers aren’t just lookers, but top of the line in performance as well, as they are built around one of Bowers and Wilkins best models that may be manufactured with studio performance in mind, but could rock the foundations of any home as well.

Of course there is no price for these items available yet, and will probably require a “price upon request” approach to determine when they hit the market later this year. Until then (and for many likely long, long after) all we can do is admire the sleekest pair of speakers you’re likely to lay eyes over ears on, and maybe try to find another word besides swag to describe their superfluous levels of luxury.

  

Start Turning Your Home into a James Bond Villian’s Lair with the Burglar Blaster

Anyone who has seen “Home Alone” (which is hopefully everyone) knows that when it comes to home security, the one undisputed assurance for safety is a series of well implemented traps leading to hilarious punishments for the armed thugs now in your life.

To begin constructing your own dominion of doom then, consider purchasing the Burglar Blaster.

Working off of an infrared sensor, when the Burglar Blaster is set, it detects movement and fires off four ounces of pepper spray guaranteed to cause some serious second thoughts to anyone in the remote vicinity(coverage is up to 2000 square feet). It also comes equipped with a timer that can be set up to 40 seconds, presumably so you can allow the burglar to momentarily relish in the acquisition of some perfect loot, before they’re met with a spray of burning aerosol to the face.

Reloadable, easy to install, and battery operated, the only alarm systems more ballsy would have to be some sort of elaborate swinging ax contraption, a trap door to a Rancor pit, your own bare fists, or perhaps the upgrade to the Blaster’s regular model (the Decintegrator) which holds up to 4 pepper spray cans and covers twice the space.

Sure it’s dangerous and impractical, but can you really put a price on your family’s (potentially humorous) safety?

Yes actually. The standard model runs $595.00, while the less discreet Decintegrator retails for $495.00.

Well worth it for your home to be affectionately known in the criminal underworld as the house of pain.