Anyone who has seen “Home Alone” (which is hopefully everyone) knows that when it comes to home security, the one undisputed assurance for safety is a series of well implemented traps leading to hilarious punishments for the armed thugs now in your life.
To begin constructing your own dominion of doom then, consider purchasing the Burglar Blaster.
Working off of an infrared sensor, when the Burglar Blaster is set, it detects movement and fires off four ounces of pepper spray guaranteed to cause some serious second thoughts to anyone in the remote vicinity(coverage is up to 2000 square feet). It also comes equipped with a timer that can be set up to 40 seconds, presumably so you can allow the burglar to momentarily relish in the acquisition of some perfect loot, before they’re met with a spray of burning aerosol to the face.
Reloadable, easy to install, and battery operated, the only alarm systems more ballsy would have to be some sort of elaborate swinging ax contraption, a trap door to a Rancor pit, your own bare fists, or perhaps the upgrade to the Blaster’s regular model (the Decintegrator) which holds up to 4 pepper spray cans and covers twice the space.
Sure it’s dangerous and impractical, but can you really put a price on your family’s (potentially humorous) safety?
Yes actually. The standard model runs $595.00, while the less discreet Decintegrator retails for $495.00.
Well worth it for your home to be affectionately known in the criminal underworld as the house of pain.
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